Taking a deep breath is one of the easiest and most effective things you can. It will help you control your emotions more than you think. It is the first step you should employ when you feel your emotions are heightened-- especially if you are angry, anxious, or frustrated. All you have to do is take a big deep breath, hold it for ten seconds, and then exhale slowly. If this sounds familiar to you, it is because it is a common anger management technique.
Employing this technique delivers oxygen throughout our body, reducing cortisol, adrenaline, and stress hormones, delivering peace and calm to your body. If you are really on the verge of erupting, all you have to do is stop whatever you are doing.
Then, you take three breaths and hold it for ten seconds. You then breathe out slowly to the end like you are blowing up a balloon. When you do this, it helps to focus on what it feels like when the breath leaves your lungs. It allows your body to become more comfortable. Practice this consistently to have a more prolonged effect. It also helps if you are washing dishes or taking a walk as it helps amplify the calming effect. Abdominal respiration is also a great help to relay your anger and excitement.
It settles your blood pressure and heart rate while helping you ease your tension. Just inhale and allow the lower abdomen to expand naturally and exhale by flattening the lower abdomen. Breathe in and out through the nose. Let your worries go--and you will be calm, tension-free, and relaxed in no time.
When you are angry, you are going to explode, like you are going to spit out sharp, cutting remarks, or even hit your children if worse comes to worst. Anger often accompanies strong disappointment. Especially because when you become hostile and aggressive and inflict emotional or physical abuse on your children, you usually end up regretting it later.
It is important to remember that this sort of behavior is not okay, and it is not acceptable in any situation, no matter how much you might end up regretting it. Thus, when you feel like this, it is usually a good idea to get away from the environment that is stressing you out and take some steps to calm down. One thing that you can do is go to your "special place" to take a deep breath. The place can be anything: a bathroom, a veranda, a utility room, or a similar isolated area. You just have to make sure that it is quiet, calming and ensure that it will not stress you out more.
Surround yourself with pictures of things you love around you in this place that produce both a calming effect and lift your spirits. A photograph of your family or even a few house plants can go a long way in helping you out. Then, take a deep breath and imagine happy, peaceful things, allowing the anger to leave you gradually.
At first, you might think or mumble harsh words, but as long as you do not say it to your child, you can think and feel whatever it is you want to think and feel. But while you look at these calming pictures, it is almost guaranteed that your anger and anxiety will diminish, and you will be ready to discipline your kids in a constructive manner that will leave both you and your children feeling better.
Every mother or father who screams at their children regrets everything they say almost instantly. They shout, scream, and scold their child, but then they think: "Why did I become so angry over such a minor thing?" It is a lot more constructive and helpful, and it saves everyone a lot of pain in the end if they think that before they get angry. It also ensures that your child is not irreparably hurt or psychologically affected by it while also making sure that mothers do not suffer from a guilty conscience. So, when your emotions are rattled, and before you do something impulsive, think.Ask yourself three questions:
1.My child made a mistake, but was it such a big deal? Do I have to shout at them or punish them?
2.Will getting angry or punishing them indiscriminately actually help them correct their problematic behavior?
3.Is there a better solution to this problem? Is there something else I can do that will help them learn their lesson while making sure that it does not damage my relationship with my children?
By asking these questions, you will avoid negative feelings and make reasonable decisions that you will not regret later. Looking back, you might even be proud of all the decisions you made and how you handled the situation.
Mothers or fathers usually say that they are angry because of their children. But your emotions are not caused by anyone. They are a product of how you respond to a particular situation. Thus, when parents say their children made them angry, it is not quite accurate because no one can make you do anything. You are responsible for your feelings; your emotions are your own.
Hence, it is good practice for you to own your emotions. Learning how to regulate them yourself can be a lot more helpful than blaming others for it. Something you can do when you are overcome by your emotions is casting a spell to control your emotions. You can do this in your mind or in a low voice. You can pin good phrases in "your special place," as we mentioned before, or create your own incantation such as Harry Potter's famous "Expelliarmus" spell to bring comfort and peace to you.
You cannot be angry at your child forever, no matter what they do. You cannot hold a grudge or passive-aggressively take your anger out on them because one, it is not good parenting, and two, because it might seriously hurt your child and have consequences that will follow them all through their adult life. Thus, it is good to simply let it go. Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful tool in your arsenal.
You cannot let your anger or negative feelings dominate everything else in your life forever. Yes, they might have hurt you, and yes, they might have done something wrong, but that is no excuse to hold a grudge. It will hurt you and your child in ways you cannot imagine. Thus, it is good for you to let go of the anger and the sense of bitterness you feel and forgive them. It will make both of you feel way better than you will ever know.
Also, it is only when you can let go of that anger you can move to the next step, which is to teach your child right from wrong. To be more productive with your anger, you need to know how to let go of it, learn from the situation, consider your child's perspective, and seek solutions that will help both of you. And who knows? The event might even strengthen your relationship.
One of the simplest ways you can regulate your anger or tension, or anxiety is to introduce some humor into the situation. It is a tough time for everyone involved, but adding a little levity to the occasion can help diffuse the tension and make you feel better, even if it is just for a few seconds.
It will also help you let go of your anger and face what is making you feel like this more constructively. It will help clear your head, focusing on what truly matters, and problem-solve to find a helpful solution. It might seem silly to blurt out a joke, but when emotions are high, that might be exactly what you need to bring yourself back to down to earth again. It will make you more grounded and keep you from doing anything harsh or impulsive.
Learning to control your emotions is not an easy challenge. It takes time and some practice, and even then, how you respond largely depends on the situation. So if it seems like it might be something beyond your capabilities, it is okay for you to ask for help from someone close to you. If your child does something that is serious and you do not know how to handle it, it is good for you to take some time alone. And then, you should consult someone you know about what to do.
People can give really helpful advice sometimes. And whoever you trust can also like a sounding board or a soothing presence who will listen to you as you vent and release your anger. Then, they can even help you find solutions. Always seek help if your anger or anxiety issues seem out of control. You do not want to do things you regret or will hurt those around you.
Meditation is not just about taking a deep breath. It is about creating awareness of the present moment; it means being aware of every breath, body movement, feeling, and sense experience. It teaches you how to sit with all your feelings, and notice them and feel them without judging yourself for them or attempting to push them down or repress them. Mediation is one of the most common ways in which people cope with their extreme feelings. Practicing meditation is a long-term solution for dealing with your emotions. You will not gain control of them overnight by meditating once, but when you make it a habit--it can take you a long way. Meditation also offers other benefits: it helps you relax more, gets better sleep, and helps you keep centered, as well. All of these things will indirectly help you manage your emotions, too